Answers Per Request Part 1

So this post is to answer some questions I have received and elaborate with new information I have obtained on certain topics. Here we goooo... (yes that was mentally said in Mario's voice) let's dive in!

 Post #1 10 Differences of a Swedish Christmas

Donald Duck

There are more then ten differences, maybe even 20. I am sure an eleventh according to my Swedish accomplices would be TV programing. There is the Julkalendern or Adventskalendern (Christmas Calender or Advent Calender) show for kids that broadcasts daily up until Christmas Eve Day. I was able to see the last episode which was very odd, it probably would have made more sense in English and had I watched the entire series, cavemen were involved with present day people. There is a Lucia special on December 13th which I think truly kicks off the holiday spirit with candle lit singing (it was beautiful). Also there are Christmas specials like Donald Duck and Sagan om Karl-Bertil Jonssons Julafton which is supposedly called Christopher's Christmas Mission in English. Donald Duck is a household comprehension, but Christopher's Christmas Mission is a Swedish animated short film about a boy who steals presents from the rich to give to the poor. Anton and I hung out alone with baby while everyone else watched them on Christmas. I will watch them on our next Swedish Christmas.
Nordic Quack Article on Donald Duck Tradition

Post #2 Hockey, Almost A Religion Here?

 I was really nervous and stunned to see how many people were at the hockey game. Outside there were crowds of fans, cars everywhere, and I was anxious about being around so many people. I am like that in the US sometimes in large crowds, but it was heightened here in Sweden. I think it had a lot to do with knowing I did not fit in, more like stick out like a sore thumb. The arena was packed, but I managed to calm down and enjoy myself. Two big differences about the hockey game I forgot to share in my original post was that the clock counted up to twenty minutes, instead of down from twenty minutes, also the rink was wider and appeared shorter.


Post #3 A Late Intro to Living American in Sweden

This post is my most read post with 127 views. I received a lot of good feedback and several people have told me they looked forward to reading my blog. That felt great to hear. The cool thing about my blog is that I get to see how many and from what countries my viewers are in. Of course my main readership is in the US and then Sweden, but thanks needs to also go to those few readers out there in Germany, Malaysia, Australia, Finland and a few other countries. I appreciate it! I made a statement that claimed that Americans and Swedes live very different lifestyles and I believe that's true. So I thought I would share one difference here. Americans work a lot more. I will not dispute who is more hard-working that's just dumb, but Americans definitely work more hours and have less vacation then Swedes. I feel sort of lazy that I will be a stay at home mom for at least a year before I can go to SFI (Swedish for Immigrants) classes. Anton does not work right now because he is in school full time. I feel like I need a job stat for a better income. I have had jobs since I was 10 years old. I started walking a neighbor's dog regularly for $2 a walk, by 12 I was dog grooming and babysitting. I did 10 years of post high school education and while doing so I have always had at least one job if not two or three. I know several friends had similar lifestyles. Many people in Sweden do not work while they are studying full time. Also Swedes get at least 4 to 5 weeks of vacation that they are expected to take. In the US many people have jobs that they do not get any vacation because they are not considered full time employees, they just have to request days of if they have something they want to do. Vacation time is probably 2 to 3 weeks depending on the company you work for if you work full time. There are a few crazy jobs who give even more time off than that, but historically that has to do with years you've put into the company. The mentality in the US is work hard, play hard, while here it seems to be work, enjoy, and relax and maybe relax some more? I am not used to not being on the go all the time. I really need to force myself to enjoy my year off, because I am very fortunate to have it.

Post #4 Swedish Fika vs American Coffee Break

The truth is that these pastimes can be quite similar. It's just that only those people who like coffee or tea in the US generally take coffee breaks, in Sweden everyone has fika and fika is a daily thing for a lot of people. My sister Erin and I love to go to Starbucks and get pumpkin bread and a mocha or latte and it's just like fika here. However most Americans don't have others over for fika like Swedes do. A friend asked about Swedes being carb-a-holics statement. I plan on writing a couple of related posts about bread and another about pastries, so I don't want to delve too deeply into the topic now. It's plain and simple, Swedes eat a lot of carbs. Fika is served with carbs. People love their bread, pasta, and flour-based sweets here. At baby cafe all fika is, is carbs, served with a side of liver pate and cucumber. Maybe my experience is a little jaded because I am around a vegetarian and pescatarians a lot, but at great grandma's and my soon to be brother-in-law's, who are carnivores, they have served carbs for snacks and fika. It is common to offer people bread and cheese with cucumbers or tomatoes with fika, people do it all the time. The bakery sells sandwiches, everywhere you go you can buy a sandwich. Hard-bread is a thing here and people actually eat it. Max (Swedish fast food) enormous buns are sold at the grocery store (they are yummy, but super carb-infested). Therefore my conclusion is that Swedes in general are carb-a-holics. There is nothing wrong with loving carbs, it is just an observation I have made.

Post #5 Macho-ism not masochism
(I believe some people misread the title (which I provided correctly) and that is why they've read this post. I dare say that Masochism Not Learned In Sweden sounds like a more exciting topic, but alas that was not my intention. Sometimes our eyes play tricks on us.)

I took some heat for this post, but the truth is, it's how I feel and what I know as an American woman in Sweden.Yes machoism exists everywhere, but I really wanted to stress how much more fathers are involved, how gender neutrality and equality is better here than in the US. A lot of men here are dads and a lot of them spend quality time with their children. Nowhere is perfect but I love seeing dads when I'm out everyday with strollers or baby-wearing. It's amazing and seldom seen in the US unless you are at places like the zoo. Anton and his father both went to baby cafe one Friday and no one looked sideways.
A cool page I found on fb is Swedish dads. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Swedish-Dad/206074569450097 
I mean how many countries do you know have a paternity leave, let alone one comparable to maternity leave?

Your normal Swedish dad.

Post #6 Tierp -Where the Birds Fly Upside Down

So Tierp is a strange place to many. It can seem dark and ugly.  There are the darkest crows that caw loudly and truly fly upside down, so I've witnessed. Anton heard the reason why Tierp has this special saying is because it is so boring here that the crows look up to the sky instead. We've also heard that it is so ugly here and that is why the birds look to the sky. At baby cafe there is a mobile on the ceiling that is an upside down crow. When we saw it, we laughed and laughed.
I'll share the picture again. At ICA (a grocery store) there is a picture of the Tierp crows in front next to the entrance, it makes me smile.


Well that's all until next time...

Everyone Speaks English There, Right?

Negative, a big fat enormous negative. Most people know that in many countries they learn English as a second language. Sweden is one of those countries. According to the most helpful Linnea, children in Sweden today start to learn English when they are 7, learning things like numbers 1-20, colors, and my name is, the basics. So if you start at 7 and have English more or less until you graduate, how do you not speak it? To be honest I thought the same thing at first. How can you take a class for 10 years and not know it right? It even made me angry that everyone tells you that everyone speaks English in Sweden and yet a lot of people don't or aren't comfortable with it after having it for years. I mean the immersion of English into Swedish society is so noticeable to people here whose first language is English. There are stores, restaurants, signs, groceries, books, etc. that are in English (Some words in Swedish are the same as in English so it's hard to not know they are actually in Swedish...( too)). Even the Tierp sign when you enter town from the train station says Welcome to Tierp; but do the majority of people in this area know English fluently? No, not really.

I admit it; I would get selfishly angry that people did not know English here or that they seemed so freaked out that I could not speak Swedish. Sometimes in brief moments I still stand by that indignation. Even though in the back of my mind I firmly know I am in the wrong because this is not my country and I need to learn their language, not the other way around. My daughter's midwife cannot understand everything I tell her. I haven't found any practitioner in Tierp who has superior English knowledge. It's frustrating that I have to rely on Anton to do things I could normally do myself in the US, like make a phone call.  The answer hit me smack in the face. When I finally thought about how it is possible to have a class for 10 years and not retain much, it really became simple. Do I really know the dates of American history? No. I would fail miserably if asked to take a test and put accurate dates on historical events like women's suffrage (1920s?), wars, etc. and while I'm not ashamed to admit that, I would like to do something about it because I should be embarrassed by that fact. I would shame my good friend Erick, who I bet would have pegged me for knowing better.

The thing is some Swedes like Anton, my friend Pernilla, and my soon to be brother-in-law are fluent in English. Some people are close to fluent, down to many different levels of English knowledge and understanding. There are Swedes who just know the basics, and the older someone is the higher the likelihood is that they know less English. Most days I like to think my English is great and sometimes excellent. :P Yesterday when I was at the store a older man, probably late 70s, started talking to me in Swedish while I was holding a crabby Rosalind out of her stroller. I explained to him I understood little Swedish. He proceeded to ask, "boy or girl" and "her name". I answered his questions and was so excited by the fact that he even tried to talk to me after he found out I know practically no Swedish. Most elderly people would just smile and say something else in Swedish and walk away. Anton's grandparents and I cannot really communicate, but I hope that will change.

The great thing about Sweden is they offer free SFI or Swedish for immigrant classes. While this is excellent I cannot take them until Rosalind has childcare, which won't be until she is one. Therefore I am stuck not really immersing myself into learning the language. Like I told my soon to be father-in-law, it's easy to not learn Swedish with a baby around. My current understanding of Swedish is almost non-existent. I know plenty of random words, some phrases, but am terrified to use them with the Swedish people I know. Anton used to laugh at me when I first tried to learn, so it has made me nervous and anxious, not wanting to look like a fool. I should really just tell myself he is the fool for laughing because at least I am trying to learn. Anton is much more helpful now and teaches me new words sometimes, the problem is with my memory. I have a hard time remembering a lot of what I learn. I can read some ads in the newspaper and some packages at the grocery store. I understand a lot of the restaurant menus, yes without pictures. For me it is much easier to read Swedish mentally to myself then hear and comprehend. Even when I hear things I know in Swedish said aloud, my brain sometimes forgets that I know what that means. I have my moments where I impress Anton with my reading ability. It is not even good yet, but I can generally understand what something means in pamphlets, ads, newspapers, captions on tv, and some children's books.

Truthfully I am not hard on Swedes or really any foreigners who aren't fluent in English or who use things incorrectly because I can't tell you how many Americans can't even use your vs you're correctly, or to, two, and too correctly. I make errors often too. I am working on breaking myself of a few bad grammar habits like pretty as a descriptor, I caught myself actually saying me and my friends the other day instead of my friends and I. I think it had to do with the fact that I was nervous. Anyway learning a new language is challenging, and as much as I would love to learn Swedish, I feel like something is holding me back and I fear that it is fear of failing miserably. But I guess I'll never know if I don't try.

My Swede Calls Me Boo

In a perfect world, I would always be on the ball, writing a post every two to three days, but because Rosalind is oh so demanding, I have to rely on Anton for help to get my blog writing in. He gets antsy after hanging out with her for too long when he knows I'm working on my blog. I really do enjoy sharing my very normal life in Sweden. Is any life really normal though if you're truly outrageous? I think sometimes I tend to shock the hell out of people just by being myself, at times it can be quite entertaining and at other times quite boring. Anyway back to the task at hand, we begin our discussion on language. In another post I will spill on my lack of Swedish language knowledge and SFI (Swedish for Immigrants) classes, but this post is actually going to be about Anton and his English capability. This post is also a nice transition to my next post.

Anton & I in our most recent photo together, Dinner at Garlic & Shots in Stockholm.

My last dwarf, Scurry (RIP)

Yes, Anton calls me boo. He says the game Baldur's Gate has a hamster named boo. If you know me, you know I have a serious love of hamsters, especially dwarfs. However he does know that in our pop culture, hip hop world that boo is a slang term for loved one that started in the African American community as a term of endearment. So I'm boo, Anton is babe, and Rosalind is boo boo. Anton is not jaded by US racism and the idea that he shouldn't say something because it's popular in African American culture and he is "white". Obviously he knows not to use racist terms.  In the US some people would be highly offended or annoyed at him using slang words, others may find it very amusing. I mean he knows all the words to Weird Al's "White and Nerdy" (which he is), so for him to say things so nonchalantly is amusing to me at times. The words or terms I am referring to are: boo, true dat, fo sho, things like that. I'm sure there are many other examples that I cannot seem to think of right now. He did say fo shizzle my nizzle to me once, but had no idea what it meant, so I had to enlighten him. Even my sister is amazed by the vast slang and pop culture references Anton knows, so when he does  not know a word that I assume he would it sets me back a minute.

The thing is I have had a recent revelation about Anton. I believe he often does not tell me if I use a word he does not know unless it really puzzles him. I think he either doesn't care or uses context clues from whatever I'm discussing to understand what I have just said. This revelation happened when I used the word curdled and looked up at Anton to see his response. He was standing there with an expression I could have only assumed meant he did not fully catch my drift and so I asked him if he knew what curdled meant. He said no. It suddenly came to me that there may be more words that I use that he does not know, but unless I ask him if he understands, or what the word is in Swedish, he does not seem to tell me he doesn't know the word. Maybe it does not happen that often, maybe he will fess up to not asking when he does not know words I use. Heck I pretend to understand people sometimes when I have no clue what they just said in English and it's my first language (that really has more to do with being partially deaf though). I really don't think it happens often. Anton is a particularly advanced speaker. He used the word regurgitated yesterday. I was impressed. I am also very impressed that I spelled it correctly just now.

Occasionally Anton will use the wrong tense or preterite of what he is saying, but that seldom  happens.  When it does it is very noticeable because of how fluent he is; I forgot he is Swedish most of the time. It bothers me when he says things incorrectly because for him, we both know he knows better. That is how good his English is. I also don't hear much of an accent when Anton speaks. Maybe it's because I am used to his voice. I would have to ask our Michigan friends if they think he has an accent, I only hear it on certain words like parsley. However the accent is British, because you have to remember they learn British-English here in Europe. It is sort of weird because crisps are chips and chips are french fries, and so on and so on. At least I know a lot of the British words for things to understand what he says sometimes. Anton is fairly good at using the American English terms on a lot of things though.

When other foreigners speak English and mess up it doesn't bother me in the least because I am so grateful we can communicate and I can understand what he or she is trying to tell me. I have spoken with a lot of foreigners and no matter at what level there English is, it's nice for them to try even if they think they do not know enough. I appreciate the effort!

Well it's bedtime here. Hope you're enjoying you Valentine's day! Until next time...

Baby Cafe

So Sweden is made up of many municipalities. Each municipality is in charge of providing services. Baby Cafe is an amazing service that Tierp provides to all parents of babies, newborn to 8 months, on Tuesdays from 9:30  to 12:30. They also have newborn to 6 years old play times Monday and Fridays and babies 8 to 18 months on Thursdays. The program is run by a woman named Ewa and she is wonderful. She tries to engage all the babies at get in touch with everyone about how they are enjoying baby cafe.

I have fun going to baby cafe and so does Rosalind. I also feel really guilty going because I cannot speak with all of the moms there. Sometimes we speak in English and other moms cannot understand and it's not fair to them so I don't go as often as I would like. I feel less guilty when Anton goes with me because he can speak to everyone. A lot of the moms there are new moms like me, but a couple I have met have other children. Dads are welcome to come but many don't go, I believe it is because they are all at work. At least I know that is the case with some of them. I have met two other fathers there and one has become a friend to Anton and I.

At baby cafe we sing and dance. The only song I know in English is The Itsy Bitsy Spider.  There is one song I've learned that Anton and I sing at home all the time, it's about rocking and swinging. We sway to the music and rock the babies back and forth. Really I also like the waltz we dance to and the weird baby band song too. I need to learn all of the words to the songs. The baby band is accompanied by these cool maracas that look like eggs or painted wooden cylinders. The more I go to baby cafe, the more I find myself singing and humming the songs at home. Lately we have been going every other week.

At baby cafe you can pay to partake in fika. They request that you pay 10 kr (about $1.50) a family.  Provided is coffee, tea, and juice too. This fika is without sweets though. Instead you can have hard bread, wafers, or bread with liver pate (ewww), cucumber slices, butter, and cheese. This type of fika is very common, but usually there is a sweet counterpart offered.

Fika

Rosalind really enjoys the singing and dancing, but she also likes to play in the large foam circle. I wish we had a smaller version at home. It can fit 8 babies in it laying down, but sometimes a baby might get hit in the face if the circle is full. Rosalind has touched hands (so sweet and cute) and been patted on the head by other babies.

Rosalind playing with a homemade maraca.

No daddy, I don't wanna!

I'm glad to be out of that high chair.

 I took a few photos of Rosalind with Anton at baby cafe today. She was in a high chair for about 30 minutes and then was ready to get out.





















Ewa also puts out crafts every week for the parents to make. One week we made balls for the babies to play with out of balloons, plastic bags, and rice. Rosalind likes them. Today's craft was a winter diorama made in a shoe box. It looked cool and fun to make but I decided I wouldn't know where to put it and it would eventually become junk in our apartment, something I'm trying to have less of. There are also casts of baby hands that you can make. I really wanted to have Anton's do Rosalind's. Maybe I will ask if we can do it next time we go.

My orange & white ball, Anton's teal ball.

Supposedly there is suppose to be a trip to the Tierp hospital pool this Spring. Ewa hasn't gotten in contact with the coordinator yet, but I hope it happens. I like field trips and it would be fun to go swimming in a warmer pool. The childrens pools in Tierp are warm, but the adult pool is not! Also going as a group with our friends would be nice.

So the verdict is that baby cafe is a excellent service and place to meet other parents and babies. We always have a good time. I think every city should offer baby cafe, meaning everywhere. I know my mom went to a children's or twins group when we were young and still knows some of the people she met there. I hope you can find a similar service offered to you and you go. It's definitely worth it.

Erin's Visit to Sweden

So I haven't written in my blog lately because I have been fairly busy. Erin, my identical twin, came to visit us for a week, there were a couple days of depression after she left, followed by a visit from Anton's sister and my cleaning/organizing rampage. Also Anton requested I make a Blizzard Battlenet UK account to play a game with him called Hearthstone, that we have been watching be played by some of our favorite gamers. I have become an addict. Our baby Rosalind has been sleeping a lot lately but when she is awake she demands our full attention. Now she is in bed and Anton and I are half paying attention to the Superbowl. All in all I have felt busy since my last post.

                                                     Rosalind & Erin, don't they look alike?

I believe Erin enjoyed her trip to visit us and meet our baby for the first time. When we picked her up she appeared a little lost, like I did the first time I arrived here. I think it has to do with the long journey here and not being able to sleep on planes or in airports. Rosalind seemed a little confused by Erin because she looks a lot like her mommy. We told her Erin was her second mommy here to visit for the week and she seemed to accept that as much as any 3 1/2 month old can. I had planned, shopping, the libraries, lunches out, the entire week for us and I guesstimate we managed to do 80% of everything planned. Erin wanted to make sure there was down time and lots of time with baby, which there was of course. The only thing I wish we did do was take Rosalind to the pool. Rosalind loved hanging out with her second mommy.

                                            Our first lunch at Taco Bar Erin, Anton, & Baby

On our second trip to Uppsala, we had falafel and went to several stores. Baby got a couple of cute clothes at H & M. We accidentally ran into the English shop, that had imports from the UK and US. Thanks to Linnea for telling me about it, when I saw the sign I knew we'd have to go in and I found my canned pumpkin! The store clerk said they sold a lot around Thanksgiving, which made me happy because it means there are Americans in Uppsala, I just need to find them now! I was able to show Erin the main library branch and the English book shop.

This is a book I found on the picture book shelf in the English bookshop, definitely not a picture book, but and important one! The bookshop is right outside of the library, can't you tell! Library is bibliotek in Swedish and biblioteca in Spanish.Well we had a lot more adventures including a dinner at Garlic & Shots in Stockholm (I recommend the food!), running around my town Tierp, doing laundry in our building, but we spent a lot of time playing games after baby went to bed.

                              Erin and Anton playing Munchkin Booty with Swedish Organic Vodka!

One day while we were hanging out Erin made a list of some things she liked about Sweden or things she noticed were different than from the US. Here are her lists:

Book Return

Things I like in Sweden
1. Electric gate doors at stores
2. Rolling baskets at grocery stores (in addition to or in place of shopping carts)
3. Book return at the Uppsala Library (it's like Redbox!)
4. Stones or pebbles on the ground on top of snow instead of salt.

Things that are weird
1. They don't cut your pizzas for you, they will charge extra to cut it.
2. Tiny cups/glasses/mugs (What is this a country for ants???)
(this one drives me crazy too!!!)
3. Negative floors on elevators.
4. Swedish beef. Tried Max and liked it. Different, weird flavor, but good. 


I am sure there are many more thoughts and inquiries Erin has about Sweden, but that's all she wrote or shared with me. I know it may be a while for Erin to come back to Sweden and that makes me sad, but in five months I'll be going to the US for 6 weeks for my wedding and visiting. And that makes me happy.