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| Rosa, back in action! |
We have been back in Tierp to my shock for almost a full month. The weather is colder than Michigan and it rained a lot when we first arrived, but then it was sunny for a while and I can only hope our fall isn't too cold. Adjusting back has had it's rough moments. It has been a lot harder coming back to Sweden than the US for all of us. Anton has missed hours and hours of gaming and will try to catch up as best he can. Rosalind slept a lot more because her schedule was on Michigan time and now some days she sleeps too little. I am not doing well at all.
I have a lot on my mind, more than any single person should have at one time. I am considering going back to the US to work for a while. For now I will begin SFI classes in October and learn Swedish 20 hours a week. Hopefully I will be able to complete the entire program. I wish I was looking forward to it, sometimes I am, but mostly I'm too depressed to care. I think it's really hard for me not having a schedule and having Anton at home right now. I am not the kind of person who wants to be a full time mom, staying at home. I like leaving and going to work. Since I may never find work here, I may not be able to stay here. Only time will tell. I always liked being in school, so that may be an option for me. I did not think we would arrive home and have so many heavy future decisions on our hands.
In the US I have a huge support system; lots of friends and family who can be physically there and lend a shoulder and not just an ear. Here in Tierp we are very isolated, Anton and I can only rely on each other for taking care of one another and Rosa and it's hard to not have help, an occasional family member, friend, or babysitter to occupy her time so we have a break.
A lot has happened in the US since we've left and I haven't been able to be there for any of it. I know a lot of my friends who I grew up with in school are having a hard time because we lost a friend recently. I wish I could go to the funeral. I wish I could see my sister and have her hug me and tell me everything was going to be alright, and even though I know better, for just a moment in time believe that it's true. There is so much going on right now, a lot I feel is too private to blog about. Life is difficult. I miss my best friends. I miss the apple orchard this time of year. I hope I won't have to miss these things forever. I hope Rosa will get to enjoy these things someday.
For now I'm going to focus back on getting ready for school. I'll let you know how SFI is going, I have a feeling it's going to whip my butt! Until next time.
