Friday, February 27, 2015

SFI Swedish For Immigrants

My book
    Now on to what you all have been waiting for... my experiences with SFI! Actually wait a second, here is a little disclaimer first. I know some of the Swedes here I know are curious about SFI, but I have to admit my experiences are not like everyone's. Let me say I have heard several Americans tell me that have had shady experiences with their SFI classes and did not learn much. I have lucked out, I go to a more serious, caring school than those who have had poor experiences. My classes in 2014 were not as serious or as structured as they are this year, but they have always been decent at teaching us the Swedish language.
     I started SFI or Swedish for Immigrants in October. I missed a lot of classes because of health reasons (I get a lot of ear infections, etc.),  but I still went as much as I could manage. The classes were set up into four groups  (A, B, C & D) which were dependent upon previous education. SFI Alfa is usually for people who do not know the alphabet in their own language or who do not know how to read or write at all or much in their native language. They could have what would be equivalent to a elementary education. To be in group B you had to be equivalent to a middle school or high school education. I was put into SFI C because I knew no Swedish, and had lots of education (Like 13 years of standard education and over 9 years of college). 
     The beginning of that class was mind blowing.  The first day of class we freaked out about how we were to understand anything. Everything was said in Swedish. Half of our classmates could speak in Swedish (we later learned they had been studying for 2 years already). Our fabulous teacher Marie told us to relax and listen, that we would pick it up quickly and understand in no time. My reading comprehension advanced so quickly I was stunned. However my listening comprehension was poor and speaking was practically nonexistent. I had a hard time remembering words I saw all the time. I would literally see the word "många" (many) or "något" (something) several times and still not remember what they are in English (and these are simple words). Yet somehow I would still understand a great deal of text. 
     Computer class was a joke. The first two classes we had actual assignments but then for some reason that stopped. We almost did whatever we wanted, usually looking at "Learn Swedish" websites. Our "teacher" wasn't actually interested in teaching us anything and one day he never showed or called to say he couldn't show, suffice to say they weren't happy with him when he returned. He was supposedly sacked at the end of the year for not having the proper education.  My main teacher Marie was also let go because of not having a teaching degree (I was heartbroken about this, she's the kind of person you want for your best friend, charming, funny, kind, encouraging, etc.). Since I did not know a lot of the basics in Swedish I had 6 weeks of special classes to learn the alphabet (which is basically the same as English), how to tell time (which I still can't do), learn numbers (finally something I know!) and lot of basic vocabulary like classroom objects, clothing, food, and weather. One of my random favorite words in Swedish is frimärke (stamp in English, as in a postage stamp). Don't ask me why, I can't explain it, maybe because it's fun to say, but I think in learning any language there are words you like and words you dislike with a fiery passion.
     On Fridays, and this is still true, we have cultural classes.  All SFI students are brought together to learn all about Sweden. Some of the information is great, other times it's boring because you cannot understand or because you already know the information, especially if you actually read the text book Om Sverige (About Sweden) before you went to class. We have visitors come in a tell us about certain things in Sweden like the unemployment agency and local clubs like Tierps riding club, church social clubs, dancing clubs, Tierps art shows, etc. What is awesome about this class is the field trips. We were taken and shown the library, a recycling area, the specialty recycling for electronics and batteries, and the second-hand shops. There was a field trip to the pool, where we went swimming for free (I was all over this)! For this upcoming Friday we had to chose if we want to visit a preschool, elementary/middle school, or high school. I am going to Centralskolan  (kids 7 to 15) because I have seen the high school and been to the preschool many times. So sometimes you can look forward to going to cultural class.
     There was a two week Christmas vacation after the SFI D test was given. I missed the week before and after break too because we were in the US and I was extremely ill upon returning home. In January, while my friends moved on to SFI D,  I stayed in C. I missed too much school and failed the hearing part to move into D with my friends. While I was a little sad, it really didn't bother me, because I knew I could focus better without them. A new teacher took over our class and it has been an adjustment. She is Russian and is harder to understand than all of the other teachers. It's funny though because occasionally she says things so clear, but usually they sound muffled. She said to me,  "Megan I can tell you understand a lot, men du behöver prata Svenska" (but you need to speak Swedish). So even though my husband doesn't understand me half the time, I am not ready to give up, så jag vill prata svenska mer,  even if it's wrong. What am I saying?! Especially if it's wrong (because my Swedish is that poor). I have decided to speak Swenglish until I know proper grammar and more vocabulary to complete those sentences.
     School has been good lately. Last week was home study week and this week our normal classes resumed. For homework I had to turn in four worksheets, write a letter, write an essay, read three chapters in a book and rewrite an article from listening to it aloud. It was a lot of work. I hope I can see how I did next week after everything is graded. We don't get actual grades, we get corrections and sometimes "bra" (good) with a smiley face. It's makes me feel like I'm 7 again. I like having homework. I think we need more of it. I asked my teacher yesterday, "kan vi ha en uppsats för nästa måndag?" Anton says it's "till" not "för", but hey I'm trying here! If you're a Swede, you know what I asked. Can we have an essay for next Monday? Anyway instead of an essay, I guess we have a test. I would have preferred the essay, but I am confidant I will ace that test! And I'm sure the week after next we'll have another essay to write along with our weekly letter.
    Since we didn't have school last Friday, I went to the library and picked up 3 books and two children's books on cd all in Swedish, so I can keep learning more and more. I saw this book called "Ensam och Fri" (Alone and Free) and I grabbed it without reading the back. Later that night after Rosa and Anton were in bed, I read the book. It was only 22 pages, it's from the company that publishes short stories and these books are used in SFI to promote reading. I decided I would read the book without looking up a single word before I started. I understood the entire story, but it was one of the worst stories I have ever read. I almost want to ask for my life back from the author. It was about a man who had been cheating on his unsuspecting wife of 24 years with younger woman for the past two years. And the best and worst part of the book is the suspense that gets more and more heartbreaking every chapter. At first her husband is just late for dinner. Then he was never at work that day. Then he showed up smelling of another woman's perfume and had another woman's lipstick on him, etc. Seriously, do yourself a favor and don't read this one!!!
     So learning Swedish is hard, but I'm going to do it. Don't expect excellent grammar or me to write you completely in Swedish off hand, I still need a lot of help. And for the love of cinnamon buns don't make fun of someone learning a new language, it's totally rude and discouraging. That is all, until next time...

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Homesickness



Home in Michigan

So I haven't posted in a very long time. I was held back for many reasons like depression,  exhaustion, illness,  etc. But boy oh boy have I really wanted to shout out loud about life here. I mean I have so much to share about this country I sometimes call home now. I hope to stay a while so I can accomplish some things here. The thing about moving to a different country (especially from the majority of Americans I have heard from who live in Sweden) is that many people change their identity, but the title of my blog says it best. I will never let go of who I am,  where I've come from, and the fond childhood memories I have and want to share with Rosa and Anton here. I was very fortunate to experience some of the greatest things growing up in Michigan. Therefore I will always be living American in Sweden.
   Some days are really good here and I am happy about my decision to stay for a while, but on days like today I feel completely emotionally run over. I feel homesick for the wonderful relationships I have with family and friends in the USA. I long to talk, cry, and snuggle with my bffs.  I want to feel real again. I don't want to be in the land of passive aggressiveness, where you never really know if someone actually cares for you. I feel like so many people pretend here. They pretend to be happy,  they pretend to be your friend,  they pretend to care because they are stuck with you,  not because they choose you. Seriously it's hard to tell if people actually like you here,  it's not like they'd verbally say that (except for my mother-in-law, who actually did say that once to me).
     I am real. I pursue people who I genuinely like. I am real in my love, my generosity, my anger, my sadness, my passion, my obnoxiousness,  my bashfulness, I am who I am. I know my faults and can readily admit to them and in time forgive myself for them. My biggest asset is my biggest fault,  my honesty, I am not nor have I ever been a good sugar-coater. I am raw.  I share myself often. I find it difficult to lie. I am learning to always be a better and better communicator. I really want to express myself fully without being offensive to others, to be fully understood. I have great friends in the US who know all of this and still love me unconditionally. I feel like that may be something I will never have here. Don't get me wrong, my relationships in the US were not always sunshine and daisies, but I always had a true friend to talk to. I wonder if I will ever find a friend here whom honestly likes me as much as I like them. I am missing that closeness. Maybe I am just too American to bloom here.
     I worry about never being able to work here and having to move back to the US because I cannot get a good job. I don't want to have to move back to the US, unless I want to move back, not because I am jobless. I suppose that adds to the homesickness as well. In the beginning of January I was required to write a paper for my Swedish class.  It was an essay about my dream job and in writing it, I realized all the things I had planned and wanted for myself may no longer be what I want for myself now. I still am seriously considering a second master's or PhD, in the long term I think it would be fulfilling. When I think of my secret dream job that I have yet to share with anyone but my teacher, I feel closer to serenity than the other three dream jobs I mentioned in my paper. I guess like most people, I fear failure. In the back of my mind I hear my dad's words, "your time is worth money". And if I am not successful,  how do I support my family? A conundrum,  it is. Many people stay unhappy at jobs to support their families. I don't want that,  no one does.
     So I feel homesick. I daydream about being in Michigan this summer. I miss my support system. I miss being positively encouraged often. I miss having a few best friends and many close friends. I miss dinner parties and laser tag.  I wish I could be home for a while. I miss the excitement. My life here is very mellow compared to my life in the US. Here I spend all my time at home, school or the hospital. It can be boring, depressing, and lonely.  Well I guess I am sufficiently drained for now. You may disagree with some of what I have shared and that is your prerogative,  but do realize that this is my life and my feelings,  and I am just openly being me. I will soon write more blog posts about the good, the bad, and the strange in Sweden as I see it. I may even make a joke or two. Until next time...



Tahquamenon Falls, Michigan
Mackinaw Island, Michigan